Doubt
by sweetlife12304
Summary: America Singer is sixteen and deeply in love with her fiance, Aspen Leger. They have planned to get married in secret, since America is obiously to young to get married, and Aspen is already eighteen. A series of events cause America to change her way of thinking, and maybe even her heart.
1. Chapter 1

I hear a tap at the window and immediately know who it is. I rub my eyes to wipe the sleep away and stretch. The curtains are closed so I jump out of bed and run into my bathroom. I comb my brilliant red hair down, and put some lip gloss on. I look into my blue eyes, and scan my face. I see a pimple starting to grow by my nose. Aww man, I shouldn't have eaten that chocolate. I scold myself, knowing that eating chocolate always gives me a break out. I sigh, turn away and run back towards the window. I hear a more urgent tap, as I draw the curtains aside. A blast of light hits my face and blinds me. I blink a few times until I can see better, and then open the window. I'm immediately greeted with an urgent, sloppy kiss. I push the boy away, a huge smile on my face.

"Can't you wait until I'm outside?" I mock scold him, as I climb out the window.

"Come on America,you had me waiting for like five minutes," The handsome boy whines, "That's not fair!"

"Aspen, you said it," I take an exaggerated breath, "It was just five minutes. Its not like I took an hour to come out." I grab his hand and we start walking towards the tree house, that was originally built for my oldest sister, Kenna, and then it was passed down to Kota, then me, and then May. Now it belongs to Gerad, the baby of the family.

Aspen stops and turns towards me, I notice that there is probably three inches between us. I can't help but look at his lips when he whispers so softly I have to lean in to hear.

"America even a second away from you seems like an hour. I always think about you, even at work. The pain of having to carry heavy pieces of wood, and working in the hot son is overwhelming. But.. But when I think of you, the pain goes away, and a new pain comes and envelopes me until I feel like I'm choking. I miss you so badly America, I can't be far from you because I... I...I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you," Aspen gets down on a knee, and holds my hand.

"I don't have a fancy ring or anything, but that doesn't matter," Aspen looks into my eyes, "America Singer, will you marry me?"

Of course i'm surprised, we've been dating for a year, but I know the answer to his question. I've been dreaming of the day when he would ask me.

"Yes"

"Now, have you been practicing that? I can't imagine that you just suddenly came up with those words out of nowhere. You had to practice." I laugh, knowing that I'm right. Aspen isn't that good at being romantic.

"Wow, I can't believe, that _you,_ of all people, don't believe me. I'm heart broken." Aspen gives me a toothy grin, and hands me his flashlight. I laugh, "So that's what blinded me at the window." and run towards the tree house.

The moment I do, I regret it. Aspen is poor, so poor, that he has two jobs that wear him out, and he still doesn't earn enough money for his family to eat a decent dinner. He has a whole family to take care of. His mom can't work, she has to take care of Aspens six siblings, who often go to bed hungry. Aspens father died from cancer, so now, Aspen being the eldest,is always providing, but not wanting anybody to provide for him. He must be exhausted. **I can't believe I made him run.** I noticed that I stopped at the foot of the tree. Aspen runs up next to me his face contorted in pain. I look at him, and he immediately wipes the look from his face.

"You beat me this time Mer, but you won't beat me up the tree." With that he climbs up the tree into the tree house. I climb up after him not thinking about how he must be in pain from carrying heavy pieces of wood. He works in construction during the day, and as a servant during the night. I pull myself into the little house and crawl over to Aspen.

"What the hell is this Mer?" He points at the food that I placed in the middle of the house a few hours ago.

"I thought you would be hungry, so I brought some food up here so you could eat." I scold, knowing that he wouldn't accept it. "Now if you love me like you say you do, you will eat, and you won't complain."

"Damn it America, you know I don't-"

"Oh no you don't, shut up and eat the fucking food, you need the strength!" I yell at him, angry that he won't accept my offer.

Aspen sighs, and pinches the bridge of his nose, "Fine, for you." He picks up the fork and starts eating. I watch as he eats. He must have not eaten for days; his eyes light up a bit, and he lets out a tiny barely audible moan. He eats really fast, but then seems to remember that I'm there.

He clears his throat, and pretends that he doesn't care for the food, "You know, the foods not bad, but I don't feel comfortable with you staring at me while I eat. Here." Aspen tosses me an apple. I catch it and bite into it. My mouth explodes with a sweet tartness. The juice of the apple slides down my throat easily, and as I chew, I notice how crunchy the apple is.

"Thanks Aspen," I whisper.

* * *

Aspen moans, loudly. I giggle, "Shh, Aspen, you'll wake everyone up. I should really get going now." I look down towards him. I pass a hand through his dark black hair, and caress his cheeks. I notice how the light of the dim candles make his cheekbones sharp. Aspen is handsome, the most attractive guy in town. I can't believe he's with me. I'm not beautiful, like he says i am, and I certainly don't have great curves. I have the curves of a fourteen year old. I place my forehead on his, and look into his green eyes. I sigh. I get up off him, and turn to leave, but Aspen grabs my arm. I look towards him.

"Stay for a little while longer, please" Aspen pleads, looking up at me. Before I can answer, he pulls me down next him. He rolls over, so now he's on top of me. He looks into my eyes.

I laugh, "You are evil. You didn't give me time to answer, and now I can't move."

Aspen chuckles, "You shouldn't have told me that." he grabs my face and kisses me, as if his life depended on it. I feel his hand travel down toward my thigh, and sigh as he rubs it with his hand. He starts kissing my face, and slowly travels down my neck, towards my collarbone. He stops and looks at me. "I truly love you Mer."

"And I love you." I say as I reach up towards him and kiss him. I can feel his tongue explore my mouth, and I use my own tongue to push his out.

Aspen looks at me, "Whats wrong."

I place a hand on his chest,"I just realized that we've never had sex."

Aspen laughs, "We can't Mer, you know we can't afford protection, plus technically that's illegal."

I sigh knowing he's right. Aspen is eighteen and I'm sixteen. Sexual activity between an adult and a minor is illegal. "No one would know. Aspen, I want this."

Aspen looks at me and shakes his head, standing up. "America, no. What if you get pregnant? Our families don't even know we're together. You know, I love you but I won't have sex with you until after we're married."

I stand up, annoyed that he's right. "Fine," I smooth down my hair. "See you next week." I climb out of the tree house, and make sure that my pajamas, aren't ruffled. I smooth my hair down some more, just in case.

"Mer! Mer!" I hear Aspen call out to me in a loud whisper. I ignore him, and climb back into my window. I close the window and the curtain. I sit on my bed. I think about what he said, **we can't afford protection,** I sigh and lay down. Compared to Aspens family, my family isn't poor. But the truth is, that my family struggles with money. We're not poor like Aspens family, but we have just enough money to survive. We don't have the money to buy personal items, just for whats necessary.

One winter, we had to decide between food, or warmth. My family chose food, so our stomachs would be satisfied, but we wore all the jackets we had, plus a few blankets; inside the freaking house. We could see our breath, and poor Gerad. He was just a toddler. He could have died, but my father gave up his blankets for him. My father caught a cold, and we were afraid that he would die, just like Aspen's dad did. But he didn't. After winter, he got better, and now, he's back to his full health.

Unlike Aspen's mom, my mother works. My mother, and I sing, and play instruments. We're not famous of course, but people hire us to sing at church, or at small parties. People who can't afford someone famous to sing for them hire us. I love music, and I'm happy for what I do, but the only bad thing is that I rarely perform alone, and when I do perform alone, the money that I earn is for the whole family. The money is not mine. That's okay though, even though I'd love to keep the money that I earn, I'm happy to support my family. I stand up and walk towards the window. I look out and see a dark silhouette moving away from my house. **Aspen must have left.** I open my window and climb out, hurrying towards the tree house.

The sun is barely rising and I'm distracted by the beautiful colors that cross the sky. A warm orange, and a bright yellow. A dull red, and a faint purple. **It's so beautiful.** I take one more look at the sunrise, and then climb up the tree house.

I put the plate, and fork in a little picnic blanket that's inside the little house. I grab the burnt out candles and the food, and put it all on top of the blanket. I then grab the blanket and pick it up, carrying all the stuff with me. Before I go down, something catches my attention. I bend down and look at it. It's Aspen's flashlight. **He must have forgotten it.** I sigh. I **can't leave it here.** I pick the flashlight up, and put it in the blanket. I carry the blanket down the tree and towards the house. Once I'm inside my house again, I place the blanket in the back of my closet. I jump into my bed, and wrap myself with my worn out wool cover. I close my eyes, hoping for a few hours of sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

"America! America, wake up! Mother wants to talk to you! She seems pretty pissed off!" My eyes fly open to see my little sister May, jumping up and down my bed. May looks a lot like me, except, I think her looks are finer than mine. May's red hair is flying everywhere, and she's looking down at me with worry in her eyes. She stops jumping, and sits down. "America, you better hurry to the kitchen. She told me to tell you that she wasn't happy with you for hiding-um- I don't remember what it was she said you were hiding but."

I sit up, and hug her tightly, "Thanks May, for waking me up in an exciting way. You always make my day." I smooth down her hair and head towards the kitchen, calming doesn't know. Its something else. No. She doesn't-. The moment my mom sees me set a foot inside the kitchen, is the moment that all hell brakes loose.

"America Singer! What the hell is this? Since when are you hiding this? Your a rotten, selfish little girl!" Mother comes up to me and grabs me by the shoulders. I look into her eyes and see the anger boiling. Her eyes are bloodshot, her hair is a tangled ! How did she find out? She walks over to the run down refrigerate, and smacks it so loud I jump.

I open my mouth to confess, but when I say, 'I', my mom turns her back on me, grabs something, and brings it up to me.

"You've been storing food? America, you know very well that if you have leftovers, you share it with someone who is still hungry. Why would you do this? Just yesterday, Gerad was saying that he was still hungry. You had extra food, yet you stored it? God America. How long have you been doing this? You don't understand how serious this is do you? Why do you think you don't get to keep your own money? Your a selfish, irresponsible girl."

I look down to see a plate with food. My plate with food. Damn. I forgot I had that under the sink. I examine the plate. I look at the left over smashed potatoes and roast beef. A half eaten hamburger from the time we were able to eat from In and Out. I look up, and avoid looking at my moms eyes, now filling with tears. I can't tell her the truth. I can't. I saved that food for Aspen, for when we meet up in the tree house. I always bring Aspen food. This food on the plate was what I was going to bring Aspen yesterday, except I decided not to. I decided to cook him something fresh. I forgot about this plate.

I finally look my mom in the eye. " Mom. I-I'm sorry. I promise you it won't happen again. I don't know what got into me. I guess, I don't know. I- I know what I did was wrong, but... Mom? I will do anything to make it up to you and the whole family." I watch my mom pinch the bridge of her nose and let out a frustrated sigh.

"I don't know what to do with you America. You now what. Your grounded. You can't listen to those Chinese guys for a month." My heart drops, and my stomach flips violently.

I nod my head. "Okay, I understand, what I did was terrible. But... They are not Chinese. They are KOREAN." With that, I turn around and walk off to my room. I close the door, and lean against my door and sigh. I look down, and notice that I'm still holding the plate. I need to give this back to my mom. I open the door and walk back towards the kitchen.

"America? Is that you?" I hear my mom ask.

"Yea. Its me I came to bring back the plate. I accidentally brought it with me. I'm sorry."

"Stop saying sorry already! It's getting annoying. You're grounded and you'll never do it again. Now give it."

I give the plate to my mom, and go back to my room. I lay down on my bed. The Korean group that my mom was talking about is BTS. I absolutely adore them. She knows that I always listen to them, no matter what i'm doing. That's probably why I don't have any friends. At school, i'm usually alone, and listening to BTS. Not a lot of people talk to me, but I don't care. I actually like being alone. It gives me time to think.

I look at the digital clock on my desk and sigh. I have to do my freaking chores. I grunt. I don't feel like doing anything right now honestly. My nose starts itching, and i'm so lazy right now that it takes all my effort to scratch it. I take a deep breath and sit up. I look around my room and feel frustration bubbling in my chest, threatening to spill out. I force myself to stand up. I wiggle my fingers, and shake my hands. I jump a few times, to try to rid myself of being lazy.

I finally feel good enough to start cleaning my room. I pick up some clothes off the floor and put it in my laundry basket. I make my bed, and organize my books. The time ticks by slowly. I look towards my window and sigh. I've been sighing a lot lately. I half expect to see Aspen tap at my window, but I only see him once a week.

I change from my pajamas. I put on a loose dark green shirt, and brown sweats. I tie my hair in a low ponytail and put on my shoes. Right now, I'm on break, so I have all this time to myself. My mom left to a party that she's going to sing at, and my dad isn't home right now. He usually takes walks with my little siblings. I'm the only one in the house.

I walk out of my house making sure to lock the door. I walk towards the shopping center. I don't have any money to buy anything, but I like to look at the items in the stores. I walk into my favorite store. Mus-co. It has an odd name but nothing is odd in the inside. There are hundreds of musical instruments and music sheets. I walk in and hear a little bell as I open the door.

"Hello, welcome to Mus-co, where we sell top quality musical instruments and sheets." I look over to see a man standing behind the reception desk. "If you need help with anything just ask, but I think you're in the wrong store. This store is for people who have money. You girl, don't. So-scram."

I'm shocked by how rude he just talked to me. "Umm. Excuse me, but where is . He usually runs the shop. I-"

The rude man interrupts me and tells me that he is now running the store, and that if I didn't leave in that second, he would call the cops. I leave of course, I don't want any trouble.

* * *

"Can you believe it?" I ask Aspen. "He kicked me out! Just like that!" I sit down loudly and place my head on my hands. "I-I just can't believe it. Where am i gonna write my music now. My instruments aren't half as good as 's!"

"Calm down. Its probably temporary." Aspen rubs my back and try's to calm me.

"You're right. I'm just over reacting. I need to calm down. I'll try again tomorrow." Its been a week since I went to Mos-co, and I'm still fuming about what happened. I lay my head on Aspens shoulder and sigh.

* * *

I'm standing in front of Mus-co, staring up at the bright red sign. I look at the door and sigh. I take a step towards the doors, and reach out my hand.

"Hey." I turn around, to see a handsome boy. His short honey colored hair is slicked back neatly. He wears formal clothes, and as I look at his face, I see his brown eyes are exhausted. He is handsome, but in a different way than Aspen is. Aspen is not too tall, and not to thin. His black hair and green eyes make him extremely attractive, in my opinion. This boy, though, is different. I can't exactly place why he's handsome, but he certainly doesn't look like someone I would even talk to. He is too stiff. His posture is rod straight, and he looks very serious. "-is that good with you?"

I notice that he was talking the whole time while I was spaced out, comparing Aspen to this boy. I shake my head, and his face falls, but then recovers quickly, back to his serious face. "I'm sorry," I say faster than I can speak, "I'm embarrassed to say this, but I have no idea what you just said. I kinda drifted off there. I'm so sorry." I feel my face boil as he chuckles.

He smiles at me, and I notice that even his teeth are perfect. This time, I make sure to listen to what he's going to say, instead of thinking about his perfection. "I said, I'm sorry about what happened last week. I don't think you saw me but, um, I was there, studying in the corner. My dad, he-he can be a bit rough." I notice how he stutters on that last sentence, and the way he averts his eyes. I wonder what that's about? He takes a breath and keeps talking, his expression back to the one he first had, serious. "My father will never let you in with you looking like that. I'm sorry, but he discriminates people by their money. He only lets people who look like thy're rich in. I can help you. At my house, we have tons of women's dresses. You see, they were my mothers, but now, either she doesn't like them anymore, they don't fit her, or she never bothered to even try it on. You can come to my house, and our maids can help you look your best. Is it alright with you?"

I'm shocked. "Why would someone like you, help out someone like me?" I can here the confusion in my voice.

Again, he chuckles. "You have a negative attitude don't you. I didn't mean to make you angry. The reason why I want to help you out is because, last week, when you entered, I noticed that your face immediately filled with joy, that you loved that store, but, the moment my father told you to get out, well, your face clouded over. I want to help you because I know how much you love this store, I mean, I can only guess. Can't you just say yes, and thank you? All the other girls do that. I thought that was what girls did, but you-you're different."

I didn't realize that I sounded mad, because I didn't feel mad, but now, I'm mad. "Don't talk to me like that. You can't tell me what to do, or what not to do. You expect me to fall far you immediately? No. You're right, i'm not like all the other girls, I-I don't trust people that easily. I don't want to, and will never, go to your house, where you probably raped all those girls who said yes." I turn around, afraid that he will grab me and knock me out. I'm afraid, that I'll wake up in his basement, naked and scarred. I shiver at the thought, but when I look back, he's just standing there, confusion on his face. He shakes his head slowly, and frowns. He seems to be thinking. I move faster, and once I turn the corner onto the main street, I take off running, all the way to my house.

* * *

I tell my dad what happened. I'm closer to my dad, than I am with my mom. Plus, my mom would have told me to go, and if I got the chance, to steal a few things. My dad would never say anything like that to me though.

"Honey, I'm glad you walked away. who know's what that creep could have wanted. I'm so proud of you." My dad kisses my forehead, and hugs me tight. I sigh into his chest, glad that my dad understands me, If it wasn't for him, I would have left this house already. I trust my dad's judgment so much, that I even almost told him about Aspen. But I can't. I know he would tell me that he wants me to finish high school, and find a stable job first. I know he wouldn't care that Aspen was so poor that he could be homeless. Nothing like that matters to him, as long as I'm happy. My mom, on the other hand, would never approve. She wants me to marry someone rich. She always tells me that when I sing at parties, I need to look my best, just in case a boy with money is there. She doesn't care if I'm happy or not, as long as I can make the family rich. My dad kisses my forehead again, and stands up to go to sleep. Tomorrow he starts working at a restaurant washing dishes. He needs to be there by five, so he needs lots of sleep.

* * *

It's been almost two months since that Boy talked to me. I haven't gone near Mus-co, ever since. I didn't want to run into him again. Today, however, I needed to go. I had to look at those instruments. I wanted to admire their shine, and imagine what it would be like to play them. As I stand in front of the store, I hear a loud boom, kinda like a gunshot. A wave of air, passes my right ear, and moves my hair onto my face. Suddenly the glass in front of me shatters into a million pieces and falls to the floor. I feel like everything starts happening in slow motion. An alarm starts ringing, and as I turn around, I see about three figures standing at a distance with black clothes. Red scarves cover their faces, and they start shooting every where, destroying everything. I feel a pair of hands pick me up. As I look towards the stranger I see the boy. The boy who talked to me two months ago. As he's carrying me, I can't help but notice how strong his arms feel. He carries me into the store and into a little room in the corner, but i'm to shocked to struggle. He closes the door, and that's when I start freaking out. No! I'm not getting raped! I won't let him. As he turns around, I smack him as hard as I can, and not long after I hear several gasps. I turn around, shocked that there are about twenty girls in this room.

One of the girls, glares at me and shrieks, "Why would you do that! He just saved your life! And this is how you pay him? You should be kissing his feet, as you don't deserve to be saved. You're just a poor rat."

I stand there shocked not knowing what in the world just happened. I turn around facing the boy, and look at him. His face is red on the side where I hit him, and his eyes are narrowed, looking down at me. I look down at my feet. Why do I always jump to conclusions? Why can't I just be normal? I sigh, and apologize, but when I look up again, he's gone. I turn around and see that he's caring for a little boy. I swear I only saw girls in this room, but as I look closer, their are boys and men too. I also notice that the rude man who now owns Mus-co is here, hugging a women with a long pretty dress. I look away, not wanting to look at the man who threw me out of my favorite store. I find a corner that's isolated and sit, resting my head on the wall. I feel like crying, but that won't solve anything, so I throw away that thought. I need to think about what just happened, and why my head is spinning, or why my back is hurting, and my ears are ringing. I hear the door open, and look over. The Boy comes in carrying an old man. He sets the old man down on the floor gently, and I notice that the old man's arm is at an odd angle. I've seen this before, on a neighbor, and I didn't freak out then, I just helped the poor boy. But, as I look up at Maxon, who is looking at me with concern in his eyes, I feel something inside my stop. I gasp, and grab my stomach. I can't breath! I look at my hands, and notice that they're bleeding. My oxygen is running out. Everything blurs and black spots fill the edge of my vision. Suddenly, Maxon is saying something, but I can't hear him. The ringing in my ears got louder and its making my head spin faster and faster. I try to speak, call for help, anything, but... I fall against someone, and everything goes dark. The only thing I know is pain. I don't remember my name, or where I am. All I can feel, is pain. That horrible pain that twists my insides, and burns my back. Suddenly the pain starts going away slowly, which hurts more for some reason. Finally all I feel is a sweet sensation of being free, of not having to worry about anything.


End file.
